The episode opens with Peter sitting in a study, explaining that Lois has been complaining that he watches too much TV and doesn’t read enough books. He then picks out three novels by Stephen King, and proceeds to share them with the viewer.

Stand by Me

In the year 1955, four 12-year old boys—Petey LaChance (Peter, with Richard Dreyfuss’s voice in his head narrating the story), Quag Chambers (Quagmire), Joey Duchamp (Joe), and Cleve Brown (Cleveland)—set out to find a dead body in the woods, following a set of railroad tracks to find it. At the start of their trip, they try going through Old Man Pressman’s (Stewie) junkyard, only to be chased out by Pressman and his dog Chopper (Brian). As they travel further down the tracks, they are chased across a bridge by a train, which ends up running over Joey’s legs, as does another train that follows closely behind, which effectively cripples him (the others end up going all the way back to Pressman’s junkyard to get him a wheelchair). Upon finding the body (which turns out to be Meg), they are confronted by the town bully Ace (Mayor West) and his gang (consisting of Beast Man, Mer-Man, and Norm Peterson from Cheers), who come to take credit for finding the body. Ace threatens the boys with a knife, but Petey pulls out a gun to intimidate Ace, who swears he will come back for revenge. However, since their next meeting will be inevitable because they live in the same neighborhood, Petey lets Ace have the body to avoid further consequences. Upon returning home, the boys go their separate ways: Joey comes to terms with being crippled and creates a new wheelchair rugby game called “don’t-feel-sorry-for-us-ball”; Cleve grows up to marry Rebecca Romijn (a reference to Jerry O’Connell, the actor whose character in the film Cleve was based on); and Quag grows up to become a famous Hollywood actor who eventually dies of overdose on drugs.

[edit] Misery

Famed writer Paul Sheldon (Brian) has just finished his latest and final installment in his series of Snuggly Jeff children’s books in which he kills off the titular character so he can focus on more serious work, despite the objections of his agent Marcia (Lois). While driving through a snowstorm, Paul accidentally hits Stephen King with his car, causing him to swerve off the road and crash into a snowbank (though King is sent flying, he is otherwise unscathed and even finishes writing an entire story in a matter of seconds in the air). Paul is rescued by Stewie Wilkes (Stewie), a cross-dressed, possibly homosexual toddler and Paul’s self-proclaimed number-one fan, who takes the injured Paul to his remote cabin. Upon finding and reading the manuscript of Paul’s latest Snuggly Jeff book, Stewie is infuriated about the main character’s death and forces Paul to rewrite it and bring Snuggly Jeff back to life, holding him hostage until he manages to do so (Stewie rejects the idea of Jeff being brought back to life with a child’s wish, dismissing it as bad storytelling and comparing it to a plot hole in Contact). After sending Stewie out for more paper, Paul finds several news articles in an album that heavily imply him to be a serial killer. Just then, the local sheriff (Joe) appears and is surprised to find Paul there, but before he can help him, Stewie blows his legs off with a shotgun; the sheriff complains that he will now have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair, only to be shot again and killed by Stewie. Paul finally finishes the book and demands Stewie to let him go, but Stewie refuses, knowing he will try to turn him in to the police and tell them he kidnapped him, held him hostage, and fondled him in his sleep (though Paul had been unaware of the latter). Paul’s ultimate fate is left ambiguous.

[edit] The Shawshank Redemption

Andy Dufresne (Peter) is sent to Shawshank Prison, though none of the inmates think much of him, especially Red (Cleveland, who narrates the story). A month passes before Andy literally says two words to Red (“vagina boob”), and later asks him for a rock hammer, claiming he carves Star Wars figurines out of stone, though he also suggests in a poorly veiled manner that he will use the hammer to tunnel out of the prison; Andy and Red end up becoming fast friends. One day, the prison’s corrupt warden (Carter) offers to sell Andy’s figurines and take all the money for himself, crippling Bogs (Joe), one of the inmates who had raped Andy in the shower, as a sign of good will (although Andy claims he likes Bogs). Andy is given permission to clean the warden’s office; while doing so, he plays a record of “Hollaback Girl” across the whole prison, which utterly confuses all the inmates and infuriates the warden, who places Andy in solitary confinement. After being released, Andy grows determined to escape, informs Red that he is going to Zihuatanejo in Mexico, and tells him that if he should ever get out of prison, he should go to a hayfield in Buxton, Maine to find a piece of volcanic rock under a tree there, and that there will be a gift for him under it (though since 25 years have passed, Andy points out the field may have been developed into a Wal-Mart and recommends he get something for himself if that is the case). During an inspection the next day, Andy has disappeared without a trace. In a fury, the warden throws one of Andy’s rocks at a poster of David Cassidy on the wall of Andy’s cell, tearing a hole through Cassidy’s rectum. The warden sticks his hand into the hole and pulls the poster off, discovering a tunnel that Andy had made his escape through the other night. That night, Andy breaks into a sewage pipe while the warden is distracted (watching an episode of Friends), allowing him to crawl out to freedom. Sometime later, Red is brought before a parole board and complains that the concept of rehabilitation is just a way for the board members to make themselves feel important, and declares he will start killing people as soon as he is released; for no apparent reason, Red is put on parole anyway and released from Shawshank. Red goes to the field in Buxton with the volcanic rock to fulfill his promise to Andy, finding a box beneath the rock containing money and a postcard asking if he remembers the name of the Mexican village Andy told him about (Zihuatanejo); unfortunately, Red does not. Andy is then shown preparing a boat on a beach in Zihuatanejo, eagerly waiting for Red to arrive, though Red presumably never does.

“Three Kings”, alternatively spelled “3 Kings”, is the fifteenth episode of the seventh season of Family Guy. The episode aired on May 10, 2009 on FOX. This episode was broken into three segments, each parodying a film based on a Stephen King novel, rather than the novels themselves. Guest star Richard Dreyfuss reprised his role as the narrator from Stand by Me. Roy Scheider appears as himself, making this one of his final performances prior to his death.

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