Future Ted explains that Robin’s Canadian quirks and mannerisms were strange (slang, imperviousness to cold, and severe aggression in barfights), which got her into trouble in the fall of 2009. After a barfight, she is charged with assault and could be deported unless she gets American citizenship. Barney takes the opportunity to reiterate that Canada is lame and America is awesome. He encourages her to take the citizenship test and teaches her to act as obnoxiously as a typical American. Robin takes on the role perfectly, but on the way back home, she walks past her Canadian bar, the Hoser Hut, and tempted by her heritage, she goes in. After some serious drinking with Canada’s national women’s curling team, she blacks out and ends up in a Toronto hotel room.

Barney has tracked her down and convinces her to come home and take the test. They stop at a Tim Hortons coffee shop, where the cashier mistakes Robin for American. Downtrodden, Robin feels neither Canadian nor American. Barney makes a speech ridiculing Canadians for letting such an amazing woman go and then is promptly beaten up by some men. After some free Canadian health care, they return home and Robin decides she wants dual citizenship.

Meanwhile, Ted hears that a pizzeria in Chicago named Gazola’s is closing down. He and Marshall used to drive straight from Wesleyan to the pizzeria when they were in college, even though the pizza was awful. The road trips (fueled only by jerky and high-caffeine soda) helped cement their friendship, and Ted proposes they take one last trip. Pumped to spend some personal time with Marshall (and reeling from a severe caffeine high), Ted is disappointed to find out that Lily is coming along.

Lily needs bathroom breaks frequently and insists (instead of rock music like the Proclaimers) they listen to an audiobook about a man’s relationship with his dog (narrated by Kenny Rogers). Ted is annoyed and becomes exasperated when they stop at a bed and breakfast (instead of driving through the night). After Lily and Marshall engage in some couples’ activities, Ted tricks Marshall into driving with him to Gazola’s in his bathrobe. They enjoy the pizza, but Marshall becomes guilty over leaving Lily and they leave. Ted admits his anger at Lily tagging along and the two stop speaking.

But, as they return to the hotel, Kenny Rogers’ narration makes them realize that they do still need each other’s friendship and they reconcile. Lily hasn’t even noticed that they’re gone because she has been powerfully sedated by the hotel’s spa services. After some severe stomach pains from the pizza, the three head back to New York. At some, the boys think they have forgotten Lily at a rest stop. However, she is shown clinging to the top of the car using the power of their caffeinated soda.

“Duel Citizenship” is the fifth episode of the fifth season of the CBS situation comedy How I Met Your Mother, first airing on October 19, 2009.

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