Claire runs herself ragged trying to fix the relationship between Haley and Alex, after Haley tries to keep Alex from wearing one of her sweaters, and therefore has no time for or interest in Phil’s plan to use a gift certificate for a spa before its next-day expiration. Alex accidentally tears the sweater on a loose door-frame nail, so Claire is left to drive to numerous clothing stores and find a replacement while Phil enjoys facial and pedicure treatments while having a nice chat with the local housewives.

However, his ideas for helping Claire annoy both her and his fellow spa-goers, and they tell him that Claire doesn’t need even careful, reasonable advice of the brand Phil produces when she’s in crisis mode: she needs him to be empathetic towards her. When the matching sweater Claire tracked down turns out to have a stray anti-shoplifting dye pack, Haley and Alex renew their row and Claire is devastated, but Phil is non-specifically kind to her and Claire looks very relieved and happy by her husband’s support.

Meanwhile, Gloria is horrified by Jay’s morbid plans to purchase two side-by-side crypts in preparation of their death. Amongst other things, it’s a reminder that Jay is a lot older than her, and when they visit the mausoleum neither of them are happy when a creepy older couple who also have co-crypts want to chat up their “future neighbors”. When Jay has a talk with Manny about how much their lives changed upon meeting him, he changes his mind on the crypts and has a few plan: he’ll be cremated and have his ashes put in a can that’ll sit on the house mantle forever, thus thwarting some “future schmuck” who would be interested in newly widowed Gloria.

Cameron decides he wants to write a book that celebrates the fact that Lily is adopted, but soon learns something new about Lily’s last name.[1] Specifically, she has Mitchell’s last name as her last name and Cameron’s last name as her…middle name. Cam is angry about this until Mitchell admits he was worried about them staying together, and apologizes with promises to give their daughter a hyphenated name of co-equals. Mitchell does admit that their house is in his name alone, as well.

“Two Monkeys and a Panda” is the seventeenth episode of the American comedy television series, Modern Family’s second season. It first broadcast March 2, 2011 on ABC Network.

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